True Story!


Much Respect for Janelle Monae

I just have to say, I have such a great deal of respect for Janelle Monae.

I love when young women hold themselves in high regard, and are not willing at any point to make “sexual objects” as so many young women do.

She recently made the cover of ESSENCE, and in her honor the magazine hosted an event to celebrate.

At the event, an emotional Janelle gave this speech.

There are lots of beautiful young women of color out there who would have been just as gorgeous or even more gorgeous on this cover. And for you guys to see something in me, for my story to connect in a way that you’ve allowed me to have this platform to tell my story to your readers, it’s just something I won’t take for granted. I want to continue to do what’s right, and by what’s right is continuing to lead by example.

We don’t know [she cries and pauses] when we’ll exit. And I try to always keep that in mind when I’m given a day. It’s a conscious decision to make. Sometimes, you can take for granted your days. I didn’t have to have this life or answer to the calling that I just feel in my heart. I love making music but at the same time, I understand the importance of having a message and having something that you’re bringing awareness to, something that other people coming up can be inspired by, something that can guide their lives, something that I can do to open up doors for young girls.

I’m from Kansas and I grew up in a hard-working class family. My mother’s last occupation was a janitor, my father delivered trash and my step father worked at the post office. So whenever I’m given these opportunities, I always keep that with me. I thank God for giving me that life because it just keeps me anchored and I’m able to have as much compassion as I possibly can. […] I look forward to continuing to partner and do things that can encourage our young girls to be comfortable in their own skin, to know they don’t have to sacrifice or…they don’t even have to be like Janelle Monae to be on the cover of Essence.

Source: Necole Bitchie Blog

A lesson in correctly moisurising ethnic hair

I just got into an “you’re not listening to me” altercation with my bff on how to correctly moisture hair. So in order to prove my point I had to look this info up and I thought I’d share it with you all.

Personally I use Motions Oil Moisturiser and seal my ends with caster oil. And I base my scalp with Organic Root Stimulator’s “Hair Fertilizer” on the regular.

The 9 Most Ineffective Ways to Moisturize Your Hair

139MOISTURIZING NATURAL HAIR CARE by Black Girl With Long Hair – May 1, 2012

You’ve heard it before, over and over again — moisture is everything when it comes to natural hair health. Still, many naturals struggle with keeping their curls, kinks and coils well-moisturized. Perhaps you’re guilty of one of our 9 ineffective moisturizing practices. Check it out;

1. Moisturizing dirty hair/hair that has product buildup

The objective of moisturizing is to apply water-based product that penetrates the cuticle (outer layer) of the strand and infuse the cortex (inner layer) with water. If there is too much dirt or product on your cuticle, then there’s little chance that any moisturizing product you apply will make it to the cortex.

2. Using butters or oils as moisturizers

With the exception of a few oils, like coconut oil, that can penetrate the strand — oils and butters will sit on the OUTSIDE of your strand because they are SEALANTS, not moisturizers. Their purpose is to lock in moisture — not apply it. If your hair is feeling dry, and you apply a butter or oil, you are just weighing down dry hair, making it more brittle and susceptible to breakage.

3. Using water based products without sealing

Just like oils and butters aren’t effective as moisturizers, water-based products — and water itself! — isn’t effective at moisturizing unless it’s sealed in. Water quickly evaporate out of the cortex unless a sealing product is applied to the lock it in.

*Note: Spritzes are a great daily moisturizing solution as they contain water, which penetrates the cuticle, as well as oils, that seal the water in. While they aren’t heavy-duty enough to provide long-term moisturizing, they are great as a daily refresher, in between moisture and seal sessions.

4. Under-moisturizing

Just like your body can be thirsty way before your throat actually feels parched, natural hair can need moisture way before it feels crunchy and dry. Start by moisturizing your hair at least once a day. If, in the following hours, your hair feels wet and mushy, you can cut your moisturizing down to every other day. If it still feels dry, then you might need to up your moisturizing to twice daily.

5. Neglecting the re-moisturizing process after a shampoo

Shampooing is a bit of a paradox when it comes to moisturizing — you are dousing your hair with water, while also stripping your strands of dirt and natural oils that help lock in moisture. So, in a sense, your hair is getting dryer as it gets wetter. The squeaky, super dry feeling your hair has after a shampoo is lack of lubrication, and its critical that it be replaced. Be sure to deep condition after every shampoo and follow up with a moisturize & seal.

6. Using styling products as moisturizers

The primary purpose of styling products is NOT to improve the health of your hair. Just like the primary purpose of moisturizing products is NOT to sculpt and style your hair. There are some crossover products that can do both, but most will not. Liquid styling products might look tempting as a fill-in when you need a moisturizer but they might contain alcohols and mineral oil that will dry your hair out in the long run.

7. Focusing on roots instead of ends

Your ends are the driest part of your strands and most susceptible to breakage. The natural oils that your scalp secretes don’t travel down far enough to coat your ends, so it’s important that you are proactive in protecting them. Work moisturizing product into your hair from root to tip. Some naturals even limit their product application to the bottom 75% of their strands.

8. Over Moisturizing

Properly moisturized strands don’t feel soggy and wet, they feel supple and strong — even when they’re dry. Applying too much moisturizing and sealing product can leave your hair perpetually wet, making it difficult to style. Be even-handed with your product application. Not only will it make styling easier, but it will save your bed spread, couches, car seats, and anything else your hair comes into contact with.

9. Deep conditioning/steaming for hours

While there are a few treatments, like henna, that require long-term application, most deep conditioning treatments need 30 minutes or less. Many naturals feel that keeping treatments on overnight helps with softness and moisture, but an increasing number are realizing that 30 minutes (or whatever time the product instructions say) is just as effective as 8 hours. Keep in mind that the makers of your conditioner have tested the product, and know how much time it takes to be effective.

Are you guilty of anything on this list? What are some ineffective moisturizing practices that you’ve been guilty of?

Beyonce on the cover of Vogue UK

I like Beyonce. Like. For the life of me, this new song of hers though… I just cannot.

But I suppose being a female chauvinist in the music industry especially if you’re music’s royalty, that can be described as being “creative and speaking your mind”

And all these fellow celebrities who brown nose so much they’ve become permanent residents in her crack absolutely revolt me.

A’las my good friends I suppose when you’re something of a legend as Be freakin yonce is then well bitches must do good to bow down.

Jill Scott Covers Ebony Magazine with her son

So Miss Jill is gracing our shores for sure this time around for the Cape Town Jazz Festival! Much to the pleasure of many fans I imagine!

On a totally different topic though, she’s on the cover of Ebony with her mucho adorbs son Jett

Check out the interview below:

Jill on motherhood:

“Motherhood is getting your hands and your feet in the soil…When Jett puts my face in his hands and tells me, ‘Mommy you’re so pretty’ or smells me, it’s so wonderful.”

Jill on being a single-mom:

“That I-can-do-it-by-myself mentality is a lie. I’m sorry if I hurt anybody’s feelings, but you cannot do it all by yourself. You need a village: some aunties, grandmoms, friends. I couldn’t do this by myself and would be a fool to think I could.”

On raising a boy:

“It’s challenging being a single mom…No matter what I do, I’ll never be a man. Ever. I can show Jett how to be a thinker, how to enjoy music or how to feel, and to conquer. But I cannot show him how to be a man.”

On being sexy:

“The way I see things, I think that’s sexy. The way I think and the way I pray, I believe, are very sexy. I’ve never been the girl with too few clothes on. My mother told me… ‘It’s what you don’t do that makes you sexy more so than what you do.’…” 

*source: The Young Black and Fabulous Blog.

Essence Nail Polish

So I gave myself a quick manni today, I used the essence e range of nail polish. Specifically the Essence Colour & Go, 71 Trendsetter (brown) I love it! It will mos’def be a staple in my nail polish stash.

It dries super fast and it took just two coats, I finished it off with revlon’s top coat.

I just hope it doesn’t chip quickly…

Style Icons

I’ve decided to add “style icons” to my blog, as a sort of homage to all icons present and past. And also because I’ll have a valid reason for spending hours and hours on the internet.

My first ICON Jackie Kennedy Onassis. Need I say more though? I mean this legend proved that simplicity is key. You know that notion that “clothes do not maketh the man? That clothes should be part of the package, you should wear them not the other way around.

Through all her outfits you can really “see” her personality. She, to me, is an exquisite quintessential ultimate style icon.

I hold on to this with every piece of fibre in me

Often times when I find myself in what my bff and I refer to as our “dark alley” its so easy to just sit there and feel sorry for myself.

What’s a dark alley you ask? Its that place that always seems to creep up on you, like you’ll be walking in the beautiful garden that is your life and loving it and without notice you find yourself lost in this darkness and you don’t know how you got there, and everything you thought you knew has just changed. Sound familiar?

All I can tell you from experience, is this, self pity is a bottomless pit that just sucks you in like quick sand. its okay to get vulnerable from time to time, we’re only human, but don’t let that be your crutch.

Imagine if Jesus felt sorry for himself on that cross, where would we be? Not that we can ever compare ourselves to HIM, but we can learn from it and only get stronger.

Nothing in life that’s Great ever comes easy, you gotta have faith! You gotta work hard! And you gotta pray even harder! Hope is nothing without hard work I say.

Having said that have yourself a happy happy easter! Stay blessed you awesome person you!

Currently Obsessed With!

I haven’t written an “obsession” entry in while, my minds been preoccupied with a whole lot of real world stuff.

Anyway, so my major obsession right now is decorating my good friends baby room! Being that I’m a creative person I tend to moon light a lot of side careers…you know

From party organiser, stylist to, caterer and now interior decorator!

So I’m beyond thrilled at this project, its my first professional commission of sorts. So I totes can’t wait!

These are some of my inspirations for the baby room, its for a baby girl! Oh joy! I have a son you see… A rambunctious, loud, won’t listen hyperactive about to turn five think he know it all little boy! So this will be my mini escape…I’ll get to live vicariously through my friend’s baby girl!

I do want a baby girl of my own one day, but that’s a two years away from now, still have way too much on my plate. My little “Rorry” will have to wait. That’s her name “Rorisang Zinhle” its means celebrate beauty. I know… Me and the meanings of names…!

Anyway in between baby room obsessions I’ve also managed to fit in some shoes and fashion here n there.

Its friday today! Enjoy your weekend dolls!

im just majorly obsessed with these Valeniton Rock Studs I know they're old but STILL!

im just majorly obsessed with these Valeniton Rock Studs I know they’re old but STILL!

These haert shaped bottoms? could u die??? *thats sophia webster for you!

These haert shaped bottoms? could u die??? *thats sophia webster for you!

I just love this this. You really cant go wrong with Marc Jacobs

I just love this this. You really cant go wrong with Marc Jacobs

Miss Tina at the age of 73! I cant get over how amazing she looks. too much pout though...

Miss Tina at the age of 73! I cant get over how amazing she looks. too much pout though…

if you keep this in mind everytime you get dressed, chillle! u never go wrong! love Kimmora!

if you keep this in mind everytime you get dressed, chillle! u never go wrong! love Kimmora!

Turban Turn On

the 1940's turban

the 1940’s turban

I think I’m warming up to the turban trend now. I actually feel quit silly calling it a “turban trend” because I’m african and well african women been wearing head wraps since the beginning of time. Like wise Indian folk have been wearing turbans for ever as well. So its not really something awe inspiring, but its a novel trend.

I suppose that’s what it is with fashion though, its ever recurring, we are constantly borrowing from the time capsule. If we go to the past,  Turbans first made on appearance in the 40’s and most memorably in the 70’s by celebs such as Barbra Streisand, Sophia Loren and Bianca Jagger. 

Then “Carrie Bradshaw” (aka SJP) wore it in sex and the city 2. June Ambrose also came along and made it super fashionable again, dressing it up or down she knows a thing or two about a tuku (that’s a lose translation for what we call turbans in SA).

Solange followed and others followed suit and soon everyone who knew or pretended to know about fashion or those “I dress for myself” fashion people who think trends are dumb and yet here they are…*major eye roll* but yeah basically fashionistas started donning turbans.

Anyway now that winter is around the corner in SA, I think (for me) it’ll make better sense to wear it then, wearing meters of cloth on my head in summer just does not appeal to me…

FYI…if ur willing to spend an upwards of $150 dollars u can own your very own June Ambrose turban…ummm yeah like hell. *rummages through my scarves*

Here’s to the urban turban!

the 1970's turban

the 1970’s turban

my nephew Amogelang! aka Amo

Just the cutest! His name has two meanings, the first one being “to receive” and the second one “to accept”. In our family context we went with the latter. My cousin didn’t know she was preggers with him and wasn’t exactly thrilled or ready. But as time went on she made peace with it and fell in love with him and never looked back. I named him. He’s just the calmest and happiest baby you’ll ever meet. And did I mention he’s cute a button!!

All’s well that ends well.

Tasty Five Minute Chocolate Cake

So it turns out… You really CAN make chocolate cake in a mug in the microwave in less than 3 minutes less preparation time.

Yesterday, after having severe chocolate cake cravings but not feeling motivated enough to get in the car to go buy one…

I remembered sometime ago I received an email on “mug cakes” so off I went in search
The end product is more of a chocolate brownie consistency. All the same super delish and the best part…it took me all of 30 mins or less to prepare including prep, icing and clean up time.

And I got a “mom you’re the best!” With the biggest smile from my son!

So here goes… Now you can try it


4 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons melted butter or oil
1/4 teaspoon vanilla essence/extract
1 tablespoon choc chips or bits of chocolate
Melted chocolate or chocolate spread like nuttella
1 large mug or two tea cups

Preparation method

Prep: 10 mins | Cook: 2.5 mins
Add dry ingredients to the mug, and mix well.

Crack an egg and add it to your mug. Be sure to mix it well to avoid any pockets of flour in the corners. Pour in the milk, oil and chocolate chips, and mix well. Add the vanilla extract.

Pop your mug into the microwave & zap for 2 to 3 minutes depending on the strength of your microwave. Wait until the cake stops rising, and sets in the mug.

If necessary, run a knife around the sides of the mug, and tip the still warm cake out of the mug and onto a saucer.

And that’s about IT! For the cake

To make the icing…

Because I used tall mugs, I cut the cake into slices, melted some left over chocolate (u can use a whole slab),3 tbs of cocoa powder,2 tbs of butter, 1 tsp of Vanila essence and 3 tbs of icing sugar for the icing.

I poured over the cake slices while it was hot so the “chocolate sauce could “set” in and on top of the cakes.

And they tasted the!

The next time I make them I’m adding bitts of Bar One chocolate into the cake batter for extra tangy’ness!


this is how they'll look once you take them out the microwave

this is how they’ll look once you take them out the microwave

Women to Women

I read this off the net, and I have to say I totally commend Mrs Jada Pinket Smith on this. And I agree 100% with her. Yesterday when I commented on your soul mate, this is what I meant. That love is not doubtful, or conditioned when its real.

Jada found Will and he already had a child from a previous relationship. And she knew they came as a package deal and she made it work. I have a great deal of respect for her.

This is her letter…

A Letter to a Friend:
Blended families are NEVER easy, but here’s why I don’t have a lot of sympathy for your situation because… we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package…Period! If I didn’t want that…I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey…I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him…his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other… but we have learned to LOVE each other.

I can’t support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can’t say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT’S selfishness…NOT love. WOMAN UP… I’ve been there…I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It’s time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are.

The Skinny on Leather Jackets and Why you should own One

Unless you’ve been living in a cave under a rock in south most part of Australia, you have no reason not to know that Leather is all the rage and that its here to stay. Hell even Vegans want in on this trend (Although really you should’nt call yourself a vegan if you’re going to want to wear anything remotely animal related or indicative thereof … Just saying)

I digress, back to the topic at hand. The focus on this blog entry is on the classic leather jacket. Leather jackets as we know are no longer reserved for shady bikers or buzz cut lesbians or goth folk..(Can u even use the folk when reffering to goths?). Leather is now for every self respecting fashionista

The trick however is getting yourself a well structured leather jacket, what I mean by that is, the jacket must look contoured and well tailored when you wear it. Not like a leather trash bag… End up looking like a shady club bouncer.

A leather jacket is the quickest way to add “sophisticated edge” to any look. Its a great contrast and add of texture. If you pair it with very feminine items such as a floral dress, delicate fabrics and accessories like pearls, it actually works well to high light those items very beautifully might I add. If you don’t believe me, look at the pics below.